Recently I was reminiscing about my first crush. I was probably 11 years old and what makes this experience so memorable is the humiliation that I felt when I tried to tell him that I liked him. ...That kind of thing just doesn't go over well with 11 year old boys. Then I started wondering why that is the case for young people, but as you get older, it is not so taboo to express your feelings to a person you "like". Obviously, there is the fact that young people are immature and shouldn't be having relationships in the first place, but I wasn't curious about the relationship aspect, but the fact that as you grow up, it becomes easier to tell someone how you feel.
It might be because when you are older, people are actually looking for relationships, or because people are more mature and you know that (most of time) someone won't laugh in your face for asking them out. But I think it goes deeper than that.
When you are very young, you don't know yourself very well. You don't know what things you like about yourself, what values you possess or even what makes you, you. Most relationships form because the other person has characteristics that you see as important or as having value. So, if you don't know what is important to you, like most young people, how can you expect to successfully tell someone how you feel? Odds are, they won't feel the same way simply because they don't know what is important to them.
Of course, as you grow older, you begin to know yourself very well. You might know, for example, that you are very goal oriented and, as a result, you could never be in a relationship with someone who is not. Therefore, you would not be attracted to the high school drop out that still lives in his parent's basement that your friend keeps trying to set you up with. So, I guess what I'm getting at is, as you grow older, you are more comfortable telling someone your feelings because you are more confident that the person you have feelings for is compatible with you. This confidence is a result of knowing yourself, your qualities and your values, and being certain that the other person has similar values. Put simply (and very cliche-ly): you can't love someone until you love yourself.
